Day One: Which path am I on?
January 02, 2018
I didn't do much today. A few moments of tragic happened New Years Eve that led me into a deep exhaustion. I'm fine, I needed to sleep it off. Sometimes the unknown can be dangerous but also rewarding. I feel like now I know what I need to do especially. Some may think I'm crazy for relating tragedy with reward but I acknowledge the positives from the negatives and this is how I'm going to be able to change the way my mind transitions and take in energy.
I wanted my first day of the 90-day challenge to be all about acknowledging.
- What do I believe in
- Who do I believe in
- What do I know to keep and get rid of in my life that I do not want to deal with
Of course I don't believe I'll be able to figure all of this out on the first day but my intentions are to learn this so I will be able to further on my road towards a more peaceful life.
What do I believe in?
I was raised to believe Christian beliefs while attending a Catholic, private school from Pre-K until 6th grade. While learning about God and being "guided" things didn't make much sense to me. I had to dig in deeper, this I knew. But I was "comfortable" with the collected thoughts of other said Christians telling me what sounded best. It wasn't until I was able to think for myself and grow an understanding on whether or not I believed it it was all true.
I remember reading the book of Revelations out of curiosity. I knew about the end of the world but never read about it. It scared the living shit out of me! Oh my god... I was about 12 or 13 years old reading about the meaning behind Christmas so I don't even know how that came to mind lol. I called my mama while she was at work crying and saying "I don't want to go to hell!" I really meant that to.
I believe in God and believe that the devil is real. I believe in the Bible and that it was written by followers of God through prophecy and his words. I also believe hell is the worst place anyone could go to. I don't even wish hell on the people who have done me wrong. I still get goosebumps from thinking about it. In the same light of believing in those things I also believe Christianity was a forced religion on Blacks to contain fear and "convenience".
"Relationship over Religion" is one of my favorite phrases. You can't have a relationship with something if you don't know about it right? But what if you know all while still failing to talk to it or "vibe" with it? How can you follow all of the rules but never show up? Doesn't that seem like a waste? People often follow the 10 Commandments but who's actually talking to God or understanding Him? I don't need rules to tell me killing is wrong or lying is bad Thats common sense. We know of these things already. My focuses are Him knowing me and my intentions while connecting and relying on His responses. I want to not be blinded by religion but to have a mutual understanding of what it is that I am suppose to do for Him and rules given to me directly from Him; not the world or society trying to "form" me in its puppet out of fear of me doing the most or knowing too much.
Even though I believe in God being the higher power I also believe he's not the only power than can connect to us. I believe in the universe using energies and signals, ways to tell us things we need to know. The mind is very powerful and truly a terrible thing to waste. Do you not know how much power you as an individual possess? Its a beautiful thing. We can train our minds to deliver and receive things deeper than what our obvious eye can see.
Who do I believe in?
Well I believe in God as mentioned above. I truly believe in my Father.
What do I need to rid myself of?
I panic a lot; stressing and worrying is my downfall a lot. I need to rid myself of these bad thoughts and awful vibes. I hold myself back a lot from seeking the answers I deeply want. Its time to put myself first and forward!
I believe I've let go of like 85.5% of the negative energies I was holding on to from 2017 and beyond that point. I've washed away most of the wrongs in my life and this journey will help me to wash away the rest. Burning the bad bridges I built was the hardest thing I've done in a while. Apologizing for my wrongs while being stubborn was a task indeed lol. No human should have power over your emotions or keep you from being happy. Happiness is a reward we owe to ourselves. Don't let anyone have your rewards.
I had way more to blog tonight but I'm so tired. Watching Supernatural on Netflix because I'm so far away from the last episode. Season 7 I believe? Yeaaa I have lots to catch up on lol. I hope this read was.. Idk. Bad closing, don't chop my head off.
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